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I met this girl
And she's just great
This girl I just adore
The problem is
She has much more
Than I had bargained for

She's got that style
She's got that smile
She's got the walk
She's got the talk
She's got that zing
There's just one thing
She's got a penis

She's got that flair
Knows what to wear
She's got that face
That girl has grace
She's got pizzazz
Too bad she has
A penis

Now there's always some failure, always some flaw
Ain't that what they call Murphy's law
But male genitalia that's where I draw the line
Besides, hers is bigger than mine

My life's a mess, 'cause under that dress
She's got a P — E — N — I — S, yes!